We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
