Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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