remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
