I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
