? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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