I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
