that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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