If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
it's like heaven, but drunker
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just blew my weed a kiss
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
