you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Alive.
So much puke
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
