If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
