Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
