I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
