The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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