so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
