Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
