Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
