bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
