The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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