It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
