i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
