i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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