Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
