ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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