Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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