wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize