he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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