I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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