I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
