The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
