he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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