One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
only you would photoshop your dick
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
