Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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