I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
