But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
