I'm jealous of your bromance
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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