Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
