My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
