Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Holy shit dude........stairs
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