i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
