Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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