I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
