Non-Jews are for practice
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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