I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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