my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
