remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
