all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize