Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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