yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
