he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize