and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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