Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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