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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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