i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
