i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
They have beer where we have blood.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
