Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
