dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize