This dress was meant to end up on your floor
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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