You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I came so hard my ears popped.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
