Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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