so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
